Jenny

Goodybye, screen name

Mon, 03 Sep 2001 20:26:46 GMT

Ok, that's it. When someone makes such a nasty comment as the one on my last entry, I have to throw in the towel. I'm changing my screen name, not making anyone buddies on it, and not telling anyone about it... it may not even be on LJ.

My last entry was just blowing off steam. You are aloud to do that to, and I'm sure whoever wrote that comment does publicly all of the time. I didn't tell anyone in Annie about it.

I know that some people get frustrated, I do all of the time with my singing. I have nothing to do with the casting in Anzuini productions, I just audition. If you feel like blasting me off, do it by yourself in a journal. Not in person, and not anonymously. Being anonymous just shows that you don't mean it enough to tell me who you are. Your loss, not mine. The only thing I may be adding to this screen name is more scenes, although highly unlikely with all of these critics shooting my writing.

Goodbye, babina.

Ok, just griping about Annie

Mon, 20 Aug 2001 19:40:28 GMT

I'm in a production of Annie, but I'm in the adult chorus with 6 other "unimportant" people. We're the first to bow, and the softest to be clapped for. Of course, the orphans have less stage time than us (less by amost half) and yet bow AFTER rooster and lily. (really strange, since I think the orphans don't really have any pressure or try very hard... the have some of the adults singing for them in all of their numbers. Me included.)

The way this was cast was by who knew the director longest. Annie is the director's daughter, Ms. Hannigan is the director, 3/4 of the orphans are neighbors or go to school with the family. Rooster, Lily, Mr. Warbucks are either neighbors or have been in the director's shows forever. The person who plays the Star To Be (actually people, but the first one actually had a fair audition, I think...) got the part because she's friends with the musical director and decided she would "try out" the solo one day when the actual person was gone. now she got three performances out of seven to be the part every girl in the adult chorus wanted. Now she's complaining that she can't belt the high note in the song and should be lowered a third just for her. I mean, she was picked because she COULD belt a high e-flat. I just don't get it.

Ok, just griping about Annie

Mon, 20 Aug 2001 19:40:09 GMT

Finally, a scene three. (guess who gave me the idea for it.)

Wed, 15 Aug 2001 18:13:13 GMT

SCENE 3 (I finally got it! It's totally irrelevant to the story, but it takes up transition time.)

** Camera zooms from Veronica silhouette, up a tree, to two squirrels eating popcorn and watching**

Squirrel 1: Gee, This seems like a pretty predictable day?.

Squirrel 2: Yeah? this may be a bit boring?

S 1: (looks at piece of popcorn) I don't know what people see in this. I mean, they dissolve once you stick them in your mouth?

S 2: (looks at the screen) I guess it does? all of those people in there seem to be dissolving popcorn pretty quickly.

S 1: Hey, I've got a stash of nuts in the tree? What kind do you want?

S 2: How about? um? uh? Cashews.

S 1: Bless you. What kind of nut do you want?

S 2: I just told you? I want a cashew?

S 1: You really should get that cold checked out. Now, what kind of nut do you want?

S 2: (blink, blink) I'll have a pistachio.

S 1: Oh, well, the bathroom's under the tree.

S 2: What's with all of the nut jokes?

S 1: We're squirrels? we eat nuts? it's a movie that has nothing to do with squirrels? we have to do something to pass the time?

S 2: Oh? Well, I've got a joke for you. A woman asks a fur salesman and asks, "I would like a squirrel fur coat. Are they good in the rain?" (Squirrel 1 shutters at the word coat) and the salesman says, "Of course? have you ever seen a squirrel with an umbrella?" (it cracks up laughing)

S 1: (blink, blink) That's not funny at all.

S 2: Oh, like thinking cashew was a sneeze is the funniest thing in the world?

S 1: It's funnier than talking about fur coats! (a rain drop falls)

S 2: I'm out of popcorn. All jokes aside, can I have a peanut?

S 1: (taking out umbrella) Sure. (gets out a peanut, props umbrella over the two. S 2 hits himself in the head) You're so nutty.

S 2: Shut up.

about last entry...

Sat, 11 Aug 2001 22:37:18 GMT

I think it's hilarious... it's non-play related... I am the fairy godmother only has to do with what me and my friend were talking about... read it... it's actually pretty funny...

I AM THE FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!

Sat, 11 Aug 2001 18:18:26 GMT

Okashii Tenshi: I am the tooth fairy.
Okashii Tenshi: >>

Okashii Tenshi: <<
Broadwa4me: you are?
Okashii Tenshi: Yea.
Okashii Tenshi: >>
Okashii Tenshi: Shhh.
Okashii Tenshi: Don't tell.
Okashii Tenshi: It's a secret.
Broadwa4me: you jipped me!
Okashii Tenshi: It wasn't personal.. ;.;
Broadwa4me: you only gave me a buck a tooth!
Okashii Tenshi: I needed the money.
Okashii Tenshi: I had little fairy-lings to feed. ;.;
Broadwa4me: ooh, and who's the fairy father?
Okashii Tenshi: ...
Okashii Tenshi: The easter bunny.
Broadwa4me: you fucked the easter bunny?
Okashii Tenshi: Yea.
Okashii Tenshi: He was all fuzzy too! ^_^
Okashii Tenshi: Mmm.
Okashii Tenshi: >>
Okashii Tenshi: <<
Broadwa4me: O MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!
Okashii Tenshi: ;.; Don't say that or I'll get Wilfred over here.. And he'll lay eggs on you! Muaha
Okashii Tenshi: And they'll hatch!
Okashii Tenshi: And they'll be fuzzy fairies!
Okashii Tenshi: Muahaha!

Broadwa4me: HE'll lay eggs on me?
Okashii Tenshi: Yes. >>
Broadwa4me: i thought you layed the eggs in teh family
Okashii Tenshi: He's like a seahorse.
Okashii Tenshi: ..males give hatch the eggs.
Okashii Tenshi: e.e
Broadwa4me: interesting...
Broadwa4me: now i must tell you something..
Broadwa4me: I'm Cinderella's faerie god mother.
Okashii Tenshi: AHHHH.
Okashii Tenshi: YOU!
Okashii Tenshi: :: Fume. ::
Broadwa4me: yes, me
Okashii Tenshi: YOU ARE THE.. THE..
Broadwa4me: people like me more than you
Broadwa4me: because I give romance... you give quarters.
Okashii Tenshi: Excuse me.
Okashii Tenshi: You are a disgrace to the fairy race.
Okashii Tenshi: >>
Okashii Tenshi: You make pumkins.
Broadwa4me: look who's talking!
Broadwa4me: you take bloody baby teeth and make them into necklaces!
Okashii Tenshi: Cinderella and I had a little chat yesterday..
Okashii Tenshi: She said she was glad to get you off her back
Broadwa4me: yeah? well guess what
Okashii Tenshi: She said you were a nasty old lady.
Okashii Tenshi: With bad breath. >>
Broadwa4me: THE EASTER BUNNY IS MY FATHER!
Okashii Tenshi: NO!
Broadwa4me: so hi, stepmom
Okashii Tenshi: Oh.. Daddy, I wish you were here. You'd say something helpful, like.. "Ho ho ho!"
Okashii Tenshi: I am not your step mom.
Broadwa4me: what about grandma? she might be able to turn you back into wood, like you should be
Broadwa4me: so you'd stop TALKING
Okashii Tenshi: You bastard. >> Wilfred's lover was cheating on Prince Charming. ;.;
Broadwa4me: cinderella fucked wilfred too?
Okashii Tenshi: Yea.
Okashii Tenshi: ;.;
Broadwa4me: so that's why she had white pubic hair...
Okashii Tenshi: We don't like to bring that much. >>
Broadwa4me: huh?
Okashii Tenshi: The fact that Wilfred went after a slut like her.
Okashii Tenshi: And how do you know what color her pubic hair is?
Okashii Tenshi: She's your mother, by the way. ee.
Okashii Tenshi: e.e*
Okashii Tenshi: hidgod
Okashii Tenshi: dlgk
Okashii Tenshi: YOU.
Okashii Tenshi: YOU ARE A LESBIAN GODMOTHER!
Broadwa4me: br
Broadwa4me: back
Okashii Tenshi: Back, you evil thing you.
Okashii Tenshi: aWelcome back*
Okashii Tenshi: Welcome back*
Okashii Tenshi: See?
Okashii Tenshi: I can't type.
Broadwa4me: no, when she was changing into her ball gown, she threw her underwear on the floor, and there it was!
Broadwa4me: THE FUR
Okashii Tenshi: Because I am so shocked that WILFRED would fuck a lesbian woman!

Okashii Tenshi: Your mother!
Okashii Tenshi: Yea right.
Broadwa4me: you're a lesbian?
Okashii Tenshi: Excuses, excuses.
Okashii Tenshi: No.
Okashii Tenshi: Stupid.
Okashii Tenshi: You're mother gave you the stupid gene too, I see.
Broadwa4me: you just said that wilfred fucked a lesbian
Okashii Tenshi: Yea.
Okashii Tenshi: That woman is your mother!
Broadwa4me: who is my mother?>
Okashii Tenshi: ..Cinderella. Smart one.
Broadwa4me: cinderella is my mother? but i'm her fairy god mother..
Broadwa4me: that makes no sense...
Broadwa4me: so I'm the one who should've gone to the ball?
Broadwa4me: I should've married the prince?
Okashii Tenshi: Yes.
Broadwa4me: I SHOULD'VE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER?????
Okashii Tenshi: But your mother was having an affair with him, remember.
Broadwa4me: with the prince?
Okashii Tenshi: Yes.
Okashii Tenshi: Aw crap.
Broadwa4me: so wait..
Okashii Tenshi: Now I am all confused. >>
Broadwa4me: she's married to wilfred, but having an affair with the prince
Okashii Tenshi: No.
Broadwa4me: you're married to wilfred and you're my stepmom
Okashii Tenshi: NO.
Okashii Tenshi: Lemme explain.
Broadwa4me: i'm only 16 and cinderella is the old fart of a godmother?
Okashii Tenshi: Wilfred was married to me.
Okashii Tenshi: He was having an affair with Cinderella.
Okashii Tenshi: And their child..
Okashii Tenshi: WAS YOU.
Broadwa4me: *looks at butt, sees a fluffy tail* oh... I thought it was something i ate...
Okashii Tenshi: I g2g.
Okashii Tenshi: ><
Okashii Tenshi: Bai.
Broadwa4me: byebye

So watch out for the tooth fairy! She might leave you bunny fuzz instead of money...

Ok, none of you have to read this.

Fri, 10 Aug 2001 18:11:32 GMT

Well, since this is a JOURNAL and not a public chatroom, I'm going to write something that I could not possibly tell any of you, because you'd accuse me of bragging... but I have to get it out. I told my mom this, and all she said was "that's good." Now, I know I'll get even less of a response from this computer program, but at least I can add a bunch of gooey details... hehehe...

Now that I've explained myself, you can't have (or tell me that) you have anything against me, because I told you that you didn't have to read it.

Last night after Annie rehearsal, I was talking to Mrs. Wargo (the director) 'cause my mom was late picking me up. We were talking about how the show looks so far and I asked what shows she was doingduring the year...

She told me the shows, and said she'd really like it if I auditioned. She said I was what directors looked for in actors... she said I memorized all of the songs easily, have talent, always know and do the choreography, never miss a cue, lead the group, and she said I'm just really friendly and helpful.

I guess all of that means if I try out for the plays, I kinda get in... I hope I just get a speaking part next time!

-----------------

Now, I told you that you didn't have to read it, but since you made it this far, you have to promise me you won't put bad comments on this. If you do, I'll be forced to change my screen name and not use this one. Like I said, this is a journal. Not a chatroom.

My view on the whole religion situation...

Tue, 07 Aug 2001 19:56:04 GMT

KarrotTop518: hey
Broadwa4me: hi
KarrotTop518: question
KarrotTop518: do you have the link to jess w and steffs journal?
Broadwa4me: i didn't even know they had them
Broadwa4me: y?
KarrotTop518: brb ill go find them..
Broadwa4me: k...
KarrotTop518: tell me if you take offense to this
KarrotTop518: were having a major fight over their entries
Broadwa4me: ok...
KarrotTop518: ok jess's is starya
KarrotTop518: read her august 1st entry
Broadwa4me: ok...
Broadwa4me: are you mad at her for blaming jews for something/
KarrotTop518: she basically says that the only fault with catholicism is the fact that they use the torah
KarrotTop518: and telling how bad the torah is
Broadwa4me: and you disagree, so there's a fight going on
KarrotTop518: but thats not the worst of it, read steffs
KarrotTop518: http://www.livejournal.com/users/sakurazukakami/
Broadwa4me: what date?
KarrotTop518: august 6th
KarrotTop518: she called me and anna jewish assholes
Broadwa4me: how do you know she was referring to you two?
KarrotTop518: because she basically came right out and told us
Broadwa4me: when?
KarrotTop518: earlier today
KarrotTop518: she told us that we were acting like assholes, and she meant every word of the post
Broadwa4me: what do you think you have done to make her think you are that bad?>
KarrotTop518: She said that me and anna were "ganging up" on her
KarrotTop518: Because of the whole jess argument
Broadwa4me: but do you think you were ganging up on her? what have you said to her?
KarrotTop518: i made up with jess - i dont think she meant any harm by it
KarrotTop518: but i think steff did
Broadwa4me: But- do you think you were in any way harsh about the argument to steff?
KarrotTop518: We were talking about Jess's post, and she said basically what she said in the post

What can you make of this? Is Jess trying to deny something, or is she just not understanding my question? If you read the entries from Wismer and Williams, I think you'd understand this a little more... I have, but I still don't know the background... Levy's not answering my question...

I think they're just having separate opinions and think that everyone in this argument should be on common grounds... Like I said, Levy seems to be denying something... I'm not sure if she actually did say or do anything to edge Steff on to call her an ass... She signed off on me before I could get an answer...

I'm not trying to take sides, but she's not giving me straight answers which leads me to beleive that she is trying to make herself look good... (hey, I do it all of the time with my parents...)

What I see, as I've said before, is a difference in opinion between friends which doesn't usually happen with this much of a close group. It is healthy to address and express opinions, but not healthy for relationships to fight over opposite ones. Now I know that Wismer and Williams said something about Jews being just as bad as Christains, and that they are no different because we both use versions of the same Torah, but it is seriously an opinion.

I also know that Levy, Wismer, Williams, and Breslaw want to have each other agree on the same thing, but the fight to agreement is almost costing the friendships that have blossomed since all four met. I think they should keep their different views and continue being friends. After all, just because a statistic says that Christians and Jews are sooo different doesn't mean that the friends in these two groups are. I beleive that if the argument you guys are having is about the entire group, it shouldn't change what you think of the individual.

Blah blah blah

Tue, 31 Jul 2001 23:10:16 GMT

Bordness... *looks at the TV screen... same movie i've been watching since i got home. Rocky Horror (nifty.)* Damn... I'm so bored. *sigh* Someone, come online!!! *watches a fly fly around the room (makes sense.)* Tim Curry's accent is cool. *watches fly and TV* In just 7 days I can make you a man!!!... swallow raw eggs?... Rocky's a little too big for that diaper thing he's wearing... I wonder if he stuffed for the movie... *watches fly land on her arm, grabs a tissue and throws the fly out a window.*

What is this, the tenth time I've seen this movie since I rented it? It must be good...

Did I mention Tim Curry's accent-- oh, I did... Well, If I'm repeating myself already, you can tell how boring my life is.

this is just random blabbering...

Sun, 29 Jul 2001 15:53:06 GMT

I really enjoy peddie camp. I really enjoy being in plays. I really enjoy taking voice lessons. I just like performing in general. It hurts me when people don't think I'm good at singing or acting (i know I can't dance, lol). I once found myself crying because i hadn't performed in so long.

Anyone reading this, get my autograph now. I am going to be on Broadway someday... and no one can stop me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!

But seriously, do you think I can make it?

PEOPLE PLEASE READ!

Wed, 04 Jul 2001 20:43:50 GMT

I am sorry for anything I have ever said to any of you that would make you feel bad. I do not mean anything by any nasty words I say. I am just mad at myself that I am so ignorant that I didn't know that these words hurt you.

Popkin: I am sorry if I ever said something to make you think you were over weight. I think- no, I know that you are very beautiful the way you are, and it hurts me to think you won't be that way unless you become a size 3. You have wonderful talent as an actress and comedian, and don't ever let me make you think otherwise.

Levy: You were right. I should not have excpected anyone to call, even to say welcome home. I was just sad because I was hoping at least someone remembered I was gone... I don't want to argue anymore, and feel free to take me off of your buddy list.

Pennenga: You have been practically my sister for the past 9 years. I don't want any of that to end because of how treat people. I know that it may be against your conscience to have anything to do with me, but just know that you're still family to me. And if we're still in touch, I WILL get you that keyboard for your birthday.

Amy Johnson: The same as Popkin. I never meant to ever call you over weight. I am truly a fat bitch for telling you anything that even rhymes with the word "Fat." To you, feel free to tell me anything you have ever felt against me. That includes hate, regret ofseeing me every day, etc.

Wismer: I never wanted to hurt you in any way, and I'm still not sure how I have. Please just tell me what I am doing wrong and I will try to stop it. If I cannot, I'll stay away from you guys.

Cram: Just like Penn, we've been family since kindergarten. I don't know what happened, and I'm sorry for anything I have done. I'll try not to ever talk about the plays around you if I get another lead. You deserve main parts just as much as any of us. If there is anything else I have ever done, please bring it to my attention.

Breslaw: I'll never call you "Breslawchavich" again. Thank you for telling me what people think about me. It actually made me feel ok that people don't like me because of my attitude... I just don't know how to change some of the things.

Dubov: I never remembered calling you anything bad that wasn't joke-related. I know that you are never going to feel comfortable around me, so I'll try to lay off you and Jess. I sometimes find myself jealous of you. You're popular, pretty, thin, smart, and have a great personality. I'd settle for any one of those traits.

Hodge: I don't know what I ever did to make you angry at me... I know why you didn't invite me. I used to think of you as family, but since you don't return that thought to me, I can't really anymore. I try to help, but nothing can break down the wall between us. If you had told me what you wree doing, maybe I could have stopped it. I'm not blaming you, for I shouldn't have started it in the first place.

Williams: I never wanted to make fun of you about anything, and I'm not sure if I did, really. Like I said with almost everyone, I never know how you take what I say. Please, tell lme if I am doing something wrong and I will stop it that second. I'd become a mute if only you guys would accept me again.

Please, anyone else who I have ever hurt, tell me. I can never rewrite what I have done, but I can rewrite what the future will bring.

I love each and every one of you as sisters, and I would never want that to change. Anyway, it has, and I know it's my fault. If what i have done has scarred you for life, please block me out of your memory, take me off of your buddy list, and erase me from your yearbooks.

If any of these people who I have said don't have live journals, I'm begging you who do to show this entry to them.

Thank you to everyone who has had to put up with me. I'm sure me leaving you lives is a fantastic reward for what you have had to live through these 3 yuears.

I'm back.

Tue, 03 Jul 2001 01:46:59 GMT

Well, California was fun. I'm all Disneyed out... my cousins are tall.
The plane ride was long. The car ride was long too.

I don't feel very good, though... I mean, I come home from a 10 day trip across the country away from anyone from NJ, and not one message on my ansering machine. To add to it, only one person sent me something that wasn't a chain letter or junk mail.

Gee, I feel special... One second people are saying "I'll be there for you," the next they don't notice you unless you make them. 10 days, no calls.

Thank you, friends.

I'M LEAVING

Sat, 23 Jun 2001 01:51:24 GMT

Well, tomorrow I'm off for California for a full 10 days. No friends from NJ, no phone calls, just two big mouse ears for 10 days. I'll miss you all, and call me tomorrow or anytime during my vacation to leave an "I can't live without you" message. (just kidding... but do call, please.)

Graduation has passed.

Thu, 21 Jun 2001 18:23:30 GMT

Ok, well I'm turning this back into a journal for an entry or two until my writers block goes away. Besides, everyone has written something about graduation except me.

As I stood in line waiting to go out onto that hot foot ball field, fixing my dress and hair, I found myself saying something many times to myself and teh people around me. "We're actually graduating" I said. I just couldn't believe that the school I had actually gotten... gulp... close to was about to leave my life forever. (well, not really forever... I have to come for drama club and to see the one acts... but nevertheless) I kept thinking that I wasn't ready to leave "home." After all, I had spent more time there than at my new house lately.

When the final day came, I was feeling sick, so I couldn't truly say good byue to everything. I got plenty of signatures, but they didn't all quite fit. (like Levy said, everyone wrote very looooooooong messages, including me. Still...) I wrote something personal to each person who asked me to, even the people I didn't quite know... In fact, I pretended to look through one person's yearbook to find out her name! On my way to my last German class, I found myself stalling in the hallway just to take in the smell of the library. It seemed so empty in the hallway without the walls full of random posters that didn't mean a thing until they were gone.

I will truly miss Levy, Petrics, Marco, and anyone else who is going to the private schools. (anything is private compared to Milton Keeps and High Town.)

Well, back to thinking about the talking squirrels Ina dreamed up. Goody.

Sun, 17 Jun 2001 16:56:23 GMT

Ok, for those people who have been reading my script thingy, I NEED A SCENE 3! I have no clue what will happen, but I need some sort of transition... please comment and tell me any ideas you may think of. (thank you to all of my friends who have been trying to help)

Mon, 11 Jun 2001 21:19:32 GMT

SCENE 4 (I'm not sure what should happen in scene three? I need a good transition? maybe Eric meets Elizabeth)

** outside of Eric's castle. The usual hustle and bustle of the village, scan people buying from shops, etc. A young man looks around, turns to a stand, and steals a necklace. He starts to walk away, and the shopkeeper sees him**

Shopkeeper: Where do you think you're going? (the boy starts to run, the shopkeeper runs too) Come back here, you son-of-a-bitch!

**one of the King's men is walking around, and the boy bumps into him. Right away, the soldier grabs him by the back of the throat**

Soldier: Why are you in such a rush there, my boy?

Shopkeeper: (catching up with the boy) He stole a necklace from my cart worth at least 10 million!

Soldier: (to boy, menacingly) And what were you planning to do with that necklace?

Boy: (with an EXTREMELY thick French accent) I was not trying to do anything with it! I just needed something to sell! My family is starving! I-

Eric: (riding in on a white horse) What's wrong here, soldier?

Soldier: This (shakes boy) BOY was caught stealing from a cart down the way.

Shopkeeper: It is worth nearly more than this whole village put together!

Eric: I see. (to Boy) Do you know the penalty for stealing? Especially something of such value.

**The camera pans (as this conversation happens) across the crowd. It stops for a second on Veronica. This time she is wearing men's pants, a woman's shirt, and an apron.*

Eric: (con't, picking up sword) The penalty is death. (he raises the sword, brings it down quickly, but it is caught by a small hand. It is Veronica's.)

Veronica: (putting on a fake French accent) Please, miseur, do not kill my brother! He meant no harm! (Eric remembers her face, and pretends to believe her) You see, I told him to get something to sell in our shop, and I guess he took it the wrong way? you know how some people can be. (she pushes the boy backwards, away from Eric) If you are to kill anyone, kill me. (she looks at him, still holding the sword, ready to die)

Eric: I believe you, miss. But, because of your honesty, it would be wrong to kill you. Instead, I shall have you work for me. SOLDIER!

**The soldier takes Veronica by the arm and throws her headfirst into a carriage filled with Eric's winnings from the last kingdom. As they start moving, she sticks her head out the window, smiles at the boy, and waves good-bye to the village.**

Thu, 24 May 2001 20:40:32 GMT

SCENE TWO

*forest, again. This time with a nicer stream in the distance, a pathway for horses, and flowers everywhere. The grass is deep green, and each tree is covered in leftover pink petals and pastel green leaves. You hear horse steps coming up the path with wheels following behind. You see the front of the horse, the front of a white carraige, and finally the inside of the carraige.*

King: (inside carraige) Now, son. You know that all of this moping around will not do you any good.

Queen: (next to him) It's not very polite, and it's not very attractive.

King: After all, I didn't get your mother by moping around my castle all day. Right, dear?

Queen: Of course, love.

King: Now, why don't you ever try talking to us about why you are so mopy?

Queen: Is it that time of the month?

King: Dear, that's only an excuse girls can use.

Queen: Oh, of course. Eric, you know that memory loss leads to old age.

King: And old age leads to death.

Queen: And if we're dead before we get to see little grand children, why, we'd die!

Eric: (sighs) Mother, if you're dead in the first place, not seeing your grandchildren won't kill you.

Queen: Old age, once again. And that leads to-

King: He knows, sweety.

Queen: Oh, of course.

*adlib more conversation between King and Queen. Eric stares out the window for a while, just looking at the flowers and tapping the window of the carraige. He takes a look at the stream, and almost jumps out of his seat. You see the body of Veronica, her gown soaked and ripped, her lifeless by the stream.*

Eric: Driver! Stop the carraige!

King: What's wrong, Eric?

*Eric doesn't answer, but runs down a hill to the body. He stops at her head, bends down, and checks if she is alive. Seeing that she is breathing, he turns her over and looks at her. This girl is not extremely attractive, actually kind of chubby and hand made. Her curly, long, brown hair is strewn out about her head, but he can't stop looking at her. There was something about her eyes that made her look as if she was the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, though she wasn't by a long shot. He reaches down cautiously to touch them, but she flinches at his warm hands and absuptly wakes up.*

Veronica: (standing up, tripping over her tattered ball gown) Who are you?!?

Eric: (standing, looking into eye to eye. He notices hers are a lovely shade of blue green) I happen to be Prince Eric, heir to the thrown of this kingdom.

Veronica: Haha, nice dream. Now really, who are you?

King: (walking down the hill with the Queen) He is telling the truth, my girl. He is Prince Eric, I am King Frances, and this is Queen Rina.

Veronica: (in absolute fear and embarressment, drops down to her knees) Oh, I am sorry, your majesties.

Queen: It's quite alright, dear chil-

Veronica: (practically in hysterics crying) No, I know what I did was awful, and I must be executed for the wrongs that I have committed!

King: That won't be necessary, miss... it was a simple mistake.

*Veronica can't stop sobbing in fear of her life. Eric looks at the King puzzlingly, and the Queen singals for him to help her. He shrugs, bends down, and lifts her face by the chin*

Eric: No need to cry. (he wipes her cheeks) We're not going to execute you.

Veronica: (sniffles) Thank you, your majesty. (she stands and looks around) I must leave you now.

Queen: Where are you going, child?

Veronica: I don't know... it would help if I knew where I was... I'll just go... (she spins around with her eyes closed and lands towards the stream.) This way.

Eric: Unless you plan on walking through water, I don't think that would be a good idea.

Veronica: Oh, that might not be good. (she giggles nervously) I guess I'll be going... that way. (she goes up the hill) Thank you, your majesties. I'm sorry I must part with you.

King: Fare well, my girl!

*Veronica runs up the hill, sometimes tripping over her dress. As she walks, she throws off her gloves and undoes her hair so it hangs free behind her. Hitching up her dress above her knees, she sprints across the path towards something she does not know. Eric stares after her in awe.*

Eric: A woman who can run...

Queen: You like her?

King: Now, darling, I'm sure Eric does not believe in love at first sight.

Queen: Of course dear. (she walks up the hill and climbs into the carraige)

King: (whispering to Eric) She wasn't exactly the prettiest thing in the world... I'm sure you could do better.

*Eric watches the spec of Veronica run away. The scene closes with her disappearing.*

END OF SCENE 2

Thu, 24 May 2001 19:51:10 GMT

*all you see is a forest. You hear fast footsteps, as if someone is running. Close up on shoeless feet, sprinting across the ground. You see her faces, stricken with panic, looking back every few seconds to see how far ahead she has gotten. On one look, she takes a little too long and rams into a very muscley, big soldier.*

Soldier: Where do you think you're going?

Veronica: (backing away hurriedly) Sorry, can't chat now. Gotta run!

*she attempts to, but her arms is held by the large, gloved hand of the soldier. He brings her face close to his, noses almost touching. You can see his breathe smoke out of his mouth like a cigar butt. Veronica tries to squirm away, but his grip is too hard.*

Soldier: I said, where do you think you're going?

*she doesn't know what to say, and they just stare competitively at each other until the other soldiers catch up with her. A taller soldier grabs her by the other arm and throws her to the ground putting his foot on her stomach to keep her from moving.*

Soldier: How shall we kill this one, boss?

Taller soldier: It matters. (to veronica) How would you like to die? (she doesn't answer) Here's a simpler question. Can you swim?

Veronica: (ponders and then) Um... no! Please don't throw me into that cold, murky river over there! I will surely drown!

Taller S.: Hehehe... what a fabulous idea. I think that's exactly what we'll do.

*he picks her up by the scruff of her tattered shirt. He pushes her towards the river, looks menacingly at her, laughes, and throws her in. She stays under for a while.*

Taller S: She is definately dead. Congratualtions, men. You all deserve extra raw meat tonight at dinner.

Soldiers: HURRAH!

*they leave. You get a view of the sky from under water, and then see Veronica's head pop out, her gasping for air. She looks around to make sure no one is around to see her, and she swims away.*

END OF SCENE 1

Thu, 24 May 2001 01:58:41 GMT

I had a philosophy about why people didn't like me. I told it to myself many times over, so nothing every seemed to bother me.

I would tell myself that I was only there for other people. I was not born to bring myself happiness. I am here to get other people happiness.

I tell myself this all of the time, and it works. I think that if everyone is there for someone else, then someone had to be there for me.

I'm beginning to think that there is no one for me. Like there is an odd number of people in the world. I'm there for everyone, and no one is there back for me.

I try to make myslef happy, and others make me twice as sad. I make myself sad, people feel good about themselve for "comforting" me.

It gets hard to put on my mask when people don't want me around. Even my friend of 10 years doesn't want me around anymore. She says that everyone feels uncomfortable around me.

Her loss.

I try to be the best friend I can be. I never bring my problems to others. I stay happy. I crack jokes. I help people with problems. What do I get in return?

Nothing.

All I wanted was a special someone.... that seems to be the story of my life by now. It seems everyone I befriend, I lose eventually. Maybe it's for the best.

Without friends to bother me, I can do my homework. I can get honor roll. I can learn lines faster.

But who will be there to help with homework? Who will be there to help me with tests? Who will be there to go over my lines with me?

Odd man out. I guess everyone has to make it on there own... but most people have friends to catch them when they fall.

Eric can't help me now. I can't get into his world easily since I've told people about him... He's my only friend, and even he's in my mind. I don't think that counts as being a friend. I mean, at age 14 you should have outgrown imaginary friends by then.

But right now, he's all I've got.

He's my only savior.

He's my parachute on the fall to sadness.

I need a trampolene from real life to bounce me back up again.

That's what I want.

Sun, 13 May 2001 02:14:35 GMT

BUCKS COUNTY WAS REALLY FUN! Well... some of it.

We performed like we were supposed to. The audience loved us! They laughed at all of the jokes, and clapped at the end... well, that might have been the other people from the school, but that's besides the point.

After we performed, we had to stand outside for a little while to wait for them to let us back into the building. (we weren't aloud inside during another group's performance)

Then came the critiquing. Because of the fabulous reaction from the audience, we were expecting fantastic notes and comments. Well, that's what we expected. That's not what we got. The notes started out with who picked the play, and we pointed at Mrs. A. Then they asked her soomething along the lines of "What were you thinking?" They went on and on about how horrible they thought it was and how stupid the jokes were. After every bad comment, you heard the audience gasp. They went on with all of the bad things that happened, and then finally, at the end of the critiquing, they said good things.

First they told Jason how good he was with what he had to work with. Then they told Steven that they knew he could have done better if he hadn't had such a terrible role. They went on to tell Mrs. A that the prompter was an idiotic part, and said she didn't carry it very well either. They went down the cast list, said the stage hands were cute, then called my name. I was planning for the worst. It ended up, they complimented me. (i was thinking like WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?)

They started with saying I did well. One of them said they felt like they wanted to hear more of me on the radio and voice overs and stuff. They also asked if I was British in the first place (I did two voices, british and teen). Then they finished

Four people from my cast was crying.

At least one person from every cast came up to me to say how the critics were wrong and how we were the funniest people there.

Mrs. A told me that one of the judges left during the performance. Later that day, she said it was so rude to do the exact same thing.

Well, we watched a few shows, went out for dinner, and watched the musical. Awards time.

They gave a bunch of certificates to this one play that was really funny, but I don't think it should have gotten everything. When they were done with the certificate, I told my friends we should go home then, we didn't have a chance at trophies. We couldn't leave because we didn't have permission. So, we listened to scream after scream of certificates. Best supporting actor was called up, more screams.

They were calling up another one. They said Melvin Kreps, and I looked up. They said Final Dress Rehearsal, and I was practically standing. My heart stopped beating, my mouth dropped open, and then they said.... JEN HOROWITZ for the STEPMOTHER and I started screaming. I ran down the aisle, up the steps to the stage, got the trophy, went back down, went back up, got the certificate, and went back to my seat. Haha.... I'm a ditz.

Right after than, the same thing happened for a friend of mine in the other play for our school. He got best actor out of the whole thing! (male, that is). I didn't catch who got best actress.

During the ride home, one of the chaperones came up to me and told me that I should definately persue my dream as an actress.

Sun, 13 May 2001 01:46:07 GMT

People say that they don't care about their friends' looks. They say it's the inside that counts. They say that your personality will prevail over everything you've ever looked like or done. People say that they'll love you no matter what. They are all liars.
A friend told me that she would be my "sister" for as long as we can remember each other's names. She told me diet tips and to get facials and manicures. That may be trying to be "helpful," but to whom? To the a**es who couldn't care less if you had any personality at all as long as you are a size -49? So that you will be accepted into the "in" crowd? So that you can wear halter tops, mini skirts, and bikinis?
I asked a guy to dance at a formal. He said no, I understood. I didn't know why at first. A few days later, I talked to him and asked why. He didn't answer. I asked again, and he said it was because of my weight. Well, you can tell that that ruined my day. Personality doesn't mean shit. As long as you're over a size 2, no one will ever truly feel proud being around you.
Media sucks. Drew Barrymore is like one of my idols. I read in a magazine that she will probably never get to play a sexy or romantic part because she is a size 8. A size eight is my dream size. Personality doesn't mean shit.
I wear a mask. Want to know how to make one for yourself? It's pretty easy. The ingredients are as follows: fake perkiness, fake happiness, fake naivete, fake smile, and some make up to impress people who couldn't give a damn if you were half dead.
Under this mask is real depression, real sadness, real knowledge, real frowns, and a plain, acne faced, overweight girl who know one would care if she was half dead.
No one's there for me. I sometimes pretend there is, but in truth there isn't. I'm there for everyone else. No one's for me. All of my friends seem to have closer friends. All of the boys seem to shy away from me. My parent have each other, and my brother has his high school friends. All I have is myself. Alone in my room. Watching old movies. Dreaming to be someone else. Anyone else. I sometimes think that I wasn't meant to live this life. I wasn't meant to be this girl writing this.
Sometimes I scare myself with the things I think about in my spare time. I've tried to think of ways to die. To just curl up and leave this fucking excuse for a life. My dreams are too strong. Those are the only things keeping me alive.
People wonder why I sing in the hallways. It is the only thing that brings me happiness. Singing is the only thing I am good at. If I fail at that, I will soon crumple up into a tiny ball and seem to disappear from sight. From everything. Just fly away.
You can think all of the happy thoughts you want? you can't fly away.
Some person told me that life is full of curveballs and to hit them as hard as you can. I think I've hit enough for a person three times my age.
During my childhood, I was never aloud to be cute. I had to be smart and talented and mature since I started school. No one accepted me ever since then. Now, if you are reading this and know me, you are probably saying, "I accept you all of the time." You don't. It's pity out of everything I have ever dreamed or said.
Deep inside I know my dream won't come true. It's too much of a wonderful ending to a horrible life for my dreams to come true. Why should I even try for it anymore? Because people want me to? No, because people expect me to. I tell people I won't do my hobby anymore and they say, "Why not? You were so good last year!" I went on to do it again this year. Nervous and emotional break downs galore backstage. Like a soap opera sometimes. I'd get offstage? free from the people who don't care. Get into the hallway, curl up in a ball and cry. Just cry until someone picks me up, gives me a tissue, and pushes me back onstage.
It's hard writing this while talking to people. I've never been this free to say what I have felt, and yet I have never felt so restricted to be perky. People talking to me? wanting to be cheered up. Wanting me to make jokes about everything in the world. Wanting me to stop asking serious questions, hold back any tears in my mind waiting to come, and laugh. I can't do that all of the time.
My mask hides many things as you have learned. It hides every other emotion besides happiness.
I can fool many people with it. I fool my friends, teachers, family? even myself sometimes. I saw this show once where a girl didn't like her life. She started pretending she was someone else. She pretended to be the person she had always wanted to be. It worked. She became popular and boy crazy. I seriously said to myself that I could do that. I did it. Once I went into middle school, I had let go of Jennifer. No one besides my mother would ever call me that again.
Jennifer was a nerd. She was a straight A student. She hated anyone and anything because of the way others had treated her in the only 11 years before hand. If she had stayed on this track, she would have probably gotten into any college she wanted to. But no. She turned into Jenny. The masked girl that everyone still hated, but she seemed too confident to be left alone. Too talented not to get a piece of. It rubbed off in less that three years. Jenny's grades slipped to B's with an occasional C. She lost all childhood friends once she moved to her new house. She lost any new friends once she opened her mouth and sang.
Why do people hate me whenever I sing? Someone told me that everyone likes this other girl (my opponent in singing) because she doesn't bring attention to herself. This someone told me that my opponent would never brag about anything having to do with voice because everyone already knew she was the queen singer of the school. It makes me think, why even try?
Not the singing. The being popular. There's a difference between this girl and me. I have never been popular. I have never had a true friend to know the real me and support me. I support so many people. I laugh with others. I tell jokes. I help. I listen. I give advice. Why doesn't anyone do any of this for me? I want one friend who will do these things without feeling obligated or full of pity. I want a "bosom buddy" as you may call it. Why do I have to support everyone? Why do I have to be there for everyone? Why can't SOMEONE be there for ME? Anyone! It's a cry for help! PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME! SOMEONE! PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW I LIKE TO SING! PRETEND I'M JUST A NORMAL TEENAGER! HELP ME GET THROUGH MY LIFE!!! Someone, I'm begging you.
I could settle for anyone or any THING that has ears. Anything that has no bad judgement on me. Anything that can give me advice and make my true self more like my mask. PLEASE! SOMEONE JUST COME TO MY RESCUE!
It's a stupid dream? along with my many others. There is no such thing as a true friend. Not for me. Why should I even try to dream it? It won't happen. Not for me. Not for anyone who has imperfections of any kind. Why?
I need someone for me.
All I wanted was a special someone
Who was meant for only me
But all that I've got is a group of people who hate me
And no one's there just for me.
Will I ever find that special someone
Will I search forevermore?
To find that someone who won't judge on my body
And love me for who I am.
No one will listen to what I have to say
I hear what they say; I don't speak a word
I think that's how it should be.
But not in my heart.
In my head I think this.
Not in the yearning I get for this person to come.
Will I ever find this special someone
Who will be there just for me
And never agree with the group of people who hate me
I'll know he's there, just for me.

It's a song I wrote? in like 5th grade. How could someone in 5th grade ever think that no one will ever be there for her? Every day I would sit in a corner during recess. Writing, singing, reading, thinking. Never being bothered by anyone. Maybe that's good, because they would only tease me.